Signs You’re at a Lame Comic Con

The list for April 18, 2013
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
For the non-geeky among us: A “Comic Con”
is a fan convention (usually) celebrating
an assortment of things: comic books,
scifi, manga/anime, fantasy and the
writers, actors and graphic artists who
bring those stories and characters to life.
And they usually feature people in costumes,
paying tribute to their favorite characters.
The Top 18 Signs You’re at a Lame Comic Con

  1. More stretched-to-the-breaking-point Spandex than at your local Wal-Mart.

  2. The gold bikini looks right, but Princess Leia didn’t have that much hair around her belly button.

  3. When you read the headliner was going to be "The Cast of Buffy," you didn’t expect it would include Uncle Bill and Mr. French.

  4. Not enough Selenes, too many Jabbas.

  5. William Shatner is a no-show, as the hotel he booked through Priceline burned down ten years ago.

  6. That’s not a tribble in Lieutenant Uhura’s armpits.

  7. The REAL Batmobile doesn’t have a wobbly front wheel and a reminder to "return to the Piggly Wiggly parking lot."

  8. Featured panel on Saturday afternoon is "Fox &Friends" — because, you know, fantasy.

  9. Two original Star Trek stars attending? Awesome! James Doohan and DeForest Kelley? Uh Oh.

  10. The line for the "ALF" panel is a mile long.

  11. Biggest surprise: The group of football players who set up a "wedgie line" just inside the front door.

  12. The Bronys have completely intimidated the Klingons.

  13. A guy dressed as Calvin is walking around peeing on things.

  14. That’s not Chewbacca — it’s a shirtless Robin Williams.

  15. When you keep flinching at the slightest hint of confrontation, you should call yourself Captain France.

  16. REAL Orion slave women don’t demand "$400 per hour, no kinky stuff."

  17. These "Endoran burgers" have a distinctly Degobah-like aftertaste.
And the Number 1 Sign You’re at a Lame Comic Con…

  1. You don’t care what they claimed, that "See Sue Storm Naked!" booth was just an empty refrigerator box.
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CREDITS
Selected from 84 submissions from 30 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 1 (5th #1)
  • Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA — 2, 10
  • Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 3
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 4
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 5
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 6
  • Richard Skora, Columbus, OH — 7
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 8
  • David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA — 9, 15
  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 10
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 11
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 12
  • Stephanie Landes, Findlay, OH — 13
  • Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — 14
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 16, Topic
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — 17
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 18
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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