The list for May 14, 1997
The Top 16 Signs Your Swimming
Pool Needs Cleaning
Pool Needs Cleaning
- That green tarp covering your pool? Look again, Sparky.
- Neighborhood kids ask if they can jump on your trampoline.
- That guy from Sunset Boulevard is REALLY beginning to smell gamey.
- pH is so high, in vitro fertilization is possible.
- Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first.
- Skipping rocks across it causes sparks.
- New algae species attract a Discovery Channel film crew to your backyard.
- Jello-like water slowing the pace of water polo games to unacceptable levels.
- Luke Skywalker and Yoda appear in search of the sunken X-Wing.
- The Grim Reaper shows up in his Speedo.
- “DREDGE ME” spelled out in algae on the bottom.
- You can walk on the water, even though you’re only the son of Gus.
- Dr. Kervorkian seen filling IV bottles at poolside.
- Your recently installed pool filter resembles the Marlboro Man’s chest x-ray.
- You haven’t seen that much scum since Mickey Rourke’s last movie.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Swimming Pool Needs Cleaning…
- The amount of body hair found in the drain gives even Robin Williams a run for his money.
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CREDITS
Selected from 134 submissions from 49 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 1 (7th #1)
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 2, Topic
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 3
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 4, 7
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 5
- Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 6
- Natasha Filipovic, New York, NY — 8
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 9 (Rookie!)
- Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI — 10
- Jim Key, Garland, TX — 11 (Rookie!)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 12
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 13
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 14
- Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 15
- Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA — 16
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 16
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