The list for April 29, 2013
The Top 14 Signs Your Kid Isn’t
Going to Be an Artistic Genius
Going to Be an Artistic Genius
- He spends weeks with nude models and hasn’t finished a single painting.
- Eats paste. And he’s 25 years old.
- His masterpiece: shoved a popsicle stick up the dog’s butt to make a Poodle Pop.
- Blue face shows he still hasn’t figured out the spray-can nozzle.
- Not enough paintings of "happy little trees" because he spends all his time perfecting his Bob Ross white-guy ‘fro.
- She Christo-wraps the bathroom just trying to wipe.
- Sure, it’s a near-perfect replica of Rodin’s "The Thinker," but he built it in the cat’s litter box.
- Her last epic poem got her placed on the no-fly-list by the FBI.
- The sight of his LEGO art makes you wish you had stepped on them in your bare feet instead.
- Her lack of imagination is evident: All her drawings on the refrigerator are drawings *of* the refrigerator.
- Wants to be the "New Liberace" — but "without all that macho stuff.."
- Cut off his ear *before* learning to paint.
- He’s another Jackson Pollock, but only while standing at the toilet.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Kid Isn’t Going to Be an Artistic Genius…
- Like Beyonce, he performed the "Star Spangled Banner" in front of millions. Unlike Beyonce, he did so on YouTube with a pan flute stuck in his butt.
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CREDITS
Selected from 86 submissions from 31 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 1, 10 (93rd #1)
- Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 2, 9
- Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 2
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — 3
- Shaune R. Stark, Cedar Park, TX — 4
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 5
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 6
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 7
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 8
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 11
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 12
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA — 13
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 14
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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