Signs Your Job at Burger King Isn’t Working Out

The list for September 13, 1996

The Top 16 Signs Your Job at
Burger King Isn’t Working Out

Your incessant “Heh, heh, he said, ‘Buns.'” is really getting on your supervisor’s nerves.
What you thought was an innovative way to keep both you and the meat patties warm turns out to violate several health codes.
Your salary just can’t support that $200-a-night hooker habit.
Nomination as the Republican Party candidate just one big time conflict.
Boss fires your slacker butt after realizing that you’re not “Herb” after all.
Flame broiled, my ass! (No really, I flame broiled my ass!)
Latest inventory shows chocolate shake supplies usage has tripled since you were hired and you need a bigger uniform every three days.
Those “special orders” not only upset you, they frickin’ piss you off!
You get caught asking customers in the men’s room if they’d “like to supersize that?”
Supervisor’s insistence on hairnets for your armpits was the last straw.
Some young punk with just three years on the job steals your assistant fry boy position.
Just no fun anymore to get liquored up, head for the arches and kick some McButt.
Arrested one too many times for using your “built-in organic onion ring circumference measuring device.”
“No shake for you, Lard Ass!” doesn’t really reflect your sincere concern about the customer’s health.
You deep-fry your right arm, hoping it’ll make you more “presidential.”

And the Number 1 Sign Your Job at Burger King Isn’t Working Out…

When you hand out paper crowns to kids, you say, “Here you go, now you’re the King of the Snot-Nosed Little Bastards!”

CREDITS

Selected from 132 submissions from 40 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5Sep1396.shtml