The list for January 16, 1998
The Top 15 Signs Your Hot Air Balloon
Won’t Make it Around the World
Won’t Make it Around the World
- Decision to paint the balloon so that it “moons” Khaddafi may not have been such a great idea, since it appears that Libyan MIG is gaining ground.
- You had to jettison most of your beer just to clear the 7-11.
- Your backup gas supply? 10 boxes of Pork ‘N’ Beans and a crate of cabbage.
- Bullwinkle’s left antler is rapidly losing helium.
- Two stops back, you traded the basket for “some bitchin’ weed.”
- As you enter Iranian airspace with Co-Pilot Rushdie, you suddenly remember where you’ve heard that name before.
- Your co-pilot keeps inhaling all the helium and doing Herve Villechaize impressions.
- Past ballooning experience? Well, you swelled up to over 230 pounds during Christmas ’89.
- Hey, if Mr. Wonder pays the bills, Mr. Wonder gets to be the pilot.
- Elton John already recording “Goodbye, Bob.” Your name? Bob.
- You’re only to Newfoundland and already Rush is getting hoarse.
- In the words of Nostradamus, “You goin’ down, sucka!”
- An anatomically correct Dirk Diggler balloon is bound to get snagged on something.
- “Hey, it’s just tired — It happens to a lot of balloons! And it doesn’t mean we can’t have any fun.”
And the Number 1 Sign Your Hot Air Balloon Won’t Make it Around the World…
- Only brought one pack of AA’s for your GameBoy and that “breath-taking scenery” crap gets old fast.
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CREDITS
Selected from 168 submissions from 61 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT — 1 (2nd #1)
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 2, 5
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 2, 11
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 3, 5
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 4, 14
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 5, 12
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 5, 14
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 5, 15
- Matt Alford, Portland, OR — 5
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 5
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 5
- Chris Gleason, Germantown, MD — 5
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 5
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 5
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 5
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 6, 7
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 8, 13
- Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA — 9
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 9
- Barry T. Smith, Boulder Creek, CA — 9
- Gerard McDonald, New Haven, CT — 10
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 12, 14
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 12
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 12
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 13, 14
- Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 13
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 13
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 13
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 13
- Rick Welshans, Alexandria, VA — 13
- Gene Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT — 14, 15
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 14
- Dave George, Arlington, VA — 14
- Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 14
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 14
- Josh Fruhlinger, Oakland, CA — 15
- Jennifer Markes, West Hollywood, CA — 15
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — Topic
- The 5th Dimension, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
T5Jan1698.shtml
