The list for May 30, 1997
The Top 15 Signs Your Horse
Won’t Win the Triple Crown
Won’t Win the Triple Crown
- The money from Nike was welcome, but the Air Secretariats aren’t much help.
- “Cubs Dole Lucci” *sounded* like a good name.
- Made decision to buy it after seeing a picture of it being ridden by a young Burgess Meredith.
- Your jockey bailed out, and Ross Perot has a speaking engagement.
- Leads the league in homers and RBIs, but ever since throwing a shoe his batting average has suffered.
- Spends first 20 minutes of every day hawking up phlegm from two-pack-a-day smoking habit.
- She’s just now finishing her lap in the Kentucky Derby.
- Due to your restricted training budget, he only runs when he sees a mechanical rabbit.
- Hopes for a victory are dashed when your horse spins out in turn three, is involved in a three-horse collision and bursts into flames.
- The harder you rock, the more nauseous you get.
- Track crew worked overnight on tote board to allow four-figure odds on your horse.
- Hemorrhoids the size of pumpkins.
- After 5 rolls of quarters, you’re *still* stuck in front of K-Mart.
- Your jockey is more interested in the Triple Sec.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Horse Won’t Win the Triple Crown…
- You keep losing by a head since it took that stunt job in “The Godfather.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 128 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Rob Wells, Paris, France — 1, 9 (1st #1!)
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 1 (2nd #1)
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 2
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 3, 14
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 3
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 4, 12
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 5
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 6
- Keith Martin, Atlanta, GA — 7
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 8
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 10
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 11
- R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 11
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 13
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 15
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA — Runner Up list name
- Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — Topic
T5053097
