The list for June 8, 1994
The Top 17 Signs Your Grandparents
Are Becoming Senile

  1. Continuously confuse North Korea with South Korea or North Vietnam.

  2. Grandma mistakenly wears dentures on her ears and hoop earrings in her mouth.

  3. Driveway constantly blocked by passing planes they wave in for a landing.

  4. Sex-filled hours of soap operas are still referred to as “My Stories.”

  5. Granddad suddenly has the hots for the croquet set.

  6. Formerly benign rumblings of “them damn foreigners” result in brick through windshield of neighbor’s VW.

  7. Continuously trying to use the TV remote to turn on the microwave.

  8. Always blowing Social Security checks on weed.

  9. Willard Scott alerts FBI after Grandma threatens him for refusing to show her picture, even though she’s only 98.

  10. Start to plan their Sunday nights around “Murder She Wrote.”

  11. Refer to each other as ‘Roy’ and ‘Dale’, and keep asking if you’ve seen Trigger.

  12. Always wearing their Depends backwards, shouting “Daddy Mack’ll make ya Jump! Jump!”

  13. Old Spice refered to as “that cologne them kids are wearing.”

  14. Suspicious calls on phone bill to 976-DODDERING.

  15. Confused the DentuCream with Preparation-H again.

  16. Three words: prune juice keggers!
And the Number 1 Sign Your Grandparents Are Becoming Senile…

  1. What was the question?
.
CREDITS
Today’s list authors were:

  • Michael Wolf, Bronx, NY – 1
  • Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL – 2, 10 (Rookie!)
  • Ken Shinodo, Keizer, OR – 3, 11
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, ? – 4, 13, 15 (Rookie!)
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC – 5, 9, 14, 16
  • Eric Schmidt – 6, 12 (Rookie!)
  • Roger Ciotti – 7
  • Ken Woo, San Diego, CA – 8
  • Steve Maybo, San Diego, CA – 11
  • Chris White, San Diego, CA – 17, Topic
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