Signs Your Favorite TV Character Smokes Pot

The list for June 8, 1998
The Top 16 Signs Your Favorite
TV Character Smokes Pot

  1. During stand-up routine, Jerry cracks first joke about nothing and proceeds to laugh uncontrollably for 22 minutes.

  2. He stays in his basement office, always babbling about aliens and conspiracies, and completely ignores his gorgeous red-headed female partner.

  3. This Urkel guy is surprisingly funny. (Oops! That’s a sign *I’ve* been smoking pot.)

  4. Tim’s project this week on “Home Improvement?” How to turn $3 worth of PVC piping into a monster bong.

  5. Has new theme song: “I love you, you love me. Let’s get nekkid and smoke some weed.”

  6. The interns are starting to refer to him as “Doobie Howser, MD.”

  7. Tim McCarver is screaming from the booth for the baseball game to “slow down!”

  8. Every Sunday, Andy’s doin’ the same damn topic: “Didja Ever Wonder Why Potato Chips Taste So Good?”

  9. Overcome by the munchies, the Coyote finally quits chasing the Roadrunner and heads to 7-11 for a burrito.

  10. Old catchphrase, “Oh my God! They killed Kenny!” now replaced with “Bummer, dude.”

  11. Dr. Green and Dr. Ross call for “Doritos to Trauma 3, stat!”

  12. Sherman and Mr. Peabody are frolicking in 1865, but the Wayback Machine’s not even plugged in.

  13. Star of special refuses to submit urine sample in “You’re Suspended, Charlie Brown!”

  14. Samantha’s so stoned, she doesn’t even realize they switched Darrens on her.

  15. Three Words: “Suddenly Shit-Faced”
And the Number 1 Signs Your Favorite TV Character Smokes Pot…

  1. “Willlllbur, I need some papers.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 100 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Ken Shinodo, Keizer, OR — 1 (4th #1)
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 2
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 3, Topic
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 4, 16
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 5
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 5
  • Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI — 6, 11
  • Andrew Hicks, somewhere in Missouri — 7 (Rookie!)
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 8
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 9, 11, 12
  • Martell Stroup, Boston, MA — 10
  • Jim Key, Garland, TX — 12
  • Tom Bestor, Oakland, CA — 13
  • Gerard McDonald, New Haven, CT — 14
  • Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 15
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 15
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — Banner Tag
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — RU List Name
  • Puff Daddy, New York, NY — Ambience
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