The list for November 11, 1997
The Top 16 Signs Your Date’s
Not an English Major
Not an English Major
- She thinks Jack London is a character on General Hospital.
- Has legally changed her name to "Slutty Spice."
- Won’t stop talking about the time he bit Holyfield’s ear.
- Wants to buy the novel of the Mr. Bean movie.
- The two of you constantly argue about which "Homer" came first.
- Giggles uncontrollably whenever you bring up "Moby Dick."
- Thinks "Elements of Style" was written by Elsa Klensch.
- The last time he completed a sentence, he was at Attica.
- "You gots no condom, you gets no party", was your last clue.
- "Of *course* I’ve read Walden. And it only took me 10 minutes to find him!"
- Ask her to conjugate a verb and she starts talking and belching at the same time.
- Doesn’t have a lot of free weekends due to busy schedule as NASCAR commentator.
- Thinks "Beowolf" is a show starring David Hasselhoff.
- Her favorite poem deals with a man from Nantucket.
- When you ask him if he has any Grey Poupon, he says, "Hey, don’t be gross!"
And the Number 1 Sign Your Date’s Not an English Major…
- You: "Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?"
Her: "Dude! That would be like totally bitchin’!"
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CREDITS
Selected from 115 submissions from 43 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 1 (6th #1)
- Marshal Perlman, Minneapolis, MN — 2
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 3, 10
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 4, 11
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 4, Banner Tag
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 5
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 6
- Troy Roberson, Birmingham, AL — 7
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 8
- Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 9
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 11
- Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 11
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 12
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 13, 15
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 14
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 16
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
- Professor Gordon Sumner, London, England — Ambience
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