Signs Your Coworker Didn’t Strictly Observe the Jewish Holiday

The list for October 6, 1997
The Top 15 Signs Your Coworker Didn’t
Strictly Observe the Jewish Holiday

  1. Telltale mouse ears on his new “yarmulke.”

  2. Sun-worshipping appears to be the only thing accomplished that was even remotely religious.

  3. Thinks that the Torah is something you wear to a frat party.

  4. Comes back wearing a “Club Med: The Sea may be Dead, but not the night life!” T-shirt.

  5. You happen to know there are no High Holy Days services at Santa Anita Racetrack.

  6. Kareem in Accounting keeps calling it “Yom Shakur.”

  7. As far as you know, circumcisions don’t “grow back.”

  8. Doesn’t know the difference between Hebrew and home brew.

  9. She’s complaining that Kathie Lee isn’t really on all Carnival Cruises.

  10. Claims he was observing “Chaka Khan.”

  11. Menorah on his desk displays three sleeves’ worth of golf balls.

  12. Thinks “Rosh Hashanah” is a song by The Knack.

  13. His yarmulke has two cans of beer and a drinking straw.

  14. “And if the rabbi sees his shadow when he comes out of the temple, there’ll be four more months of summer.”
And the Number 1 Sign Your Co-Worker’s Didn’t Strictly Observe the Jewish Holiday…

  1. Took off all of *last* month for Ramadan.
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CREDITS
Selected from 130 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 1 (6th #1)
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 2
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 3
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 4
  • John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 5
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 6
  • Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI — 7
  • Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 8
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 9
  • Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 10
  • Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 11
  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 12
  • Jennifer O. Gall, Los Angeles, CA — 13
  • Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA — 14
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 15
  • Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 15
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 15
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — Topic
  • Patrick New, Chicago IL — Topic Re-Wording
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — Banner Tag
  • Anything but Guns ‘N’ Roses — Ambience
T5100697

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