The list for January 1, 1998
The Top 10 Signs Your Computer
Is Trying to Kill You
Is Trying to Kill You
- Sends e-mail to kevorkian@mercykill.com every time you get a cold.
- Automated investing software keeps taking the Knicks with the points, and you’ve already had to sign your mortgage over to Louie the Weasel.
- Startup screen: “How Do You Want to Die Today?”
- The floppy disk you just ejected is embedded in the wall behind you.
- Power management feature has 3 settings: medium, well done and charred beyond recognition.
- The Bronco chase screen saver and the Bruno Magli mouse cover.
- Shutdown message reads “It is now safe to shove your tongue in an electrical outlet.”
- All system sounds replaced with an entire Yoko Ono album.
- Screen saver shows flying toasters landing in a bathtub with you in it.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Computer Is Trying to Kill You…
- Web search results keep listing Hong Kong chicken recipes.
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CREDITS
Selected from 81 submissions from 22 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jennifer Markes, West Hollywood, CA — 1 (1st #1!)
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 1 (7th #1)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2, 3
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 7
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 4
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 4, 5, 10
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 6
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 8
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 8
- Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 9
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic
- Joel McClure, Royal Oak, MI — Topic
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — Topic
- Doug Rendall, Winthrop Harbor, IL — Banner Tag
- Dan Fogleberg, Aspen, CO — Ambience
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