Signs Your Company’s Diversity Program Isn’t Working

The list for April 24, 1997
The Top 15 Signs Your Company’s
Diversity Program Isn’t Working

  1. Diversity = White guys with red necks.

  2. 3 months after your written request, your cellblock guards are still 100% male.

  3. To meet state-mandated diversity ratios, company offers a raise to anyone willing to be gay one week a month.

  4. Crazy Serbs in Marketing just can’t get along with wacky Bosnians in Accounting.

  5. Featured film on movie night: "Amos ‘n’ Andy Meet Charlie Chan"

  6. Sudden unexplained increase in the number of "Dukes of Hazzard" cars in the parking lot.

  7. Human Resources places an ad that reads, "Wanted: A Black, a Jew, an Oriental, and two broads."

  8. Co-workers refer to you as "The Diversity Babe."

  9. You’re named 1997 Company of the Year by "Aryan Brotherhood Today" Magazine.

  10. Only black face seen lately was when CEO did Al Jolson impression at the annual shareholders meeting.

  11. You work at "Confederate Flags Is Us."

  12. Looking back, organizing that "spin the dreidel" game at the Kwanzaa party was probably a bad idea.

  13. Multi-Cultural Luncheon features "White Trash Casserole Starch Surprise."

  14. Company has Celtic season tickets, even though the office is in downtown Boise.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Company’s Diversity Program Isn’t Working…

  1. Your law firm’s name? Schott, Zoeller, Fuhrman and Helms.
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CREDITS
Selected from 120 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Too many contributors to list! — 1
  • Don Horton, Sacramento, CA — 2
  • Marianne Tatom, Austin, TX — 3
  • Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 4
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY — 5
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 6
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 6
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 7
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 8
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 9
  • Sterling Smith, Houston, TX — 10
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 11
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 12
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 13
  • Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI — 13
  • Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 14
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 15 (Hall of Famer)
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — Topic
  • Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
T5042497

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