The list for May 7, 1996
The Top 14 Signs Your Co-Workers Don’t Like You
- Razor-wire coils atop neighboring cubicle walls deter office banter.
- Last time you got to use the season tickets was when the Royal Dancing Lipanzie Horses were in town.
- Company car is a flaming red ’88 Escort.
- An exterminator shows up at your desk with orders to "Kill the vermin".
- Dr. Kivorkian’s phone number added to your speed dialing.
- Your morning routine involves removing tacks from the pictures of your family.
- Health Care? Two band aids, rusty razor and a bottle of Wild Turkey.
- You keep hearing, "File it where the sun don’t shine."
- Someone keeps sending adoring fan mail to Pauly Shore from your e-mail account.
- Reindeer games? Forget it.
- Your assigned login ID is a violation of the Communications Decency Act.
- Odd yellow froth on your capuccinos.
- Three words: Chernobyl Sales Account.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Co-Workers Don’t Like You…
- Nameplate replaced with one that says "Asswipe."
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CREDITS
Selected from 141 submissions by 42 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Patterson, Mitch, Melbourne, FL — 1
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 2
- Chris Troise, New York, NY — 3, 8, 13
- Michael Wolf, Bronx, NY — 4
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 5
- Michelle Beres, Seattle, WA — 6
- Tim Blankenbaker, Washington, DC — 7
- Greg Bell, San Diego, CA — 9
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 10, 12
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 11
- Greg Sherwin, Palo Alto, CA — 14
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
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