Signs Your Class Reunion isn’t Going Well

The list for August 14, 1998

The Top 13 Signs Your Class
Reunion isn’t Going Well

Then: Scrawny geek with Coke bottle glasses and curly hair. Now: Slovenly geek with Coke bottle glasses and no hair.
Turns out that baby you threw in the trash can survived, and now he’s 6’4", 230 and ready to get Medieval on your ass.
You want to talk about how you taped key evidence for the Independent Counsel, they just want to talk about your sex change.
Your hilarious drunken-and-standing-on-the-buffet-table impersonation of Principal Rogers would have been a big hit if he hadn’t died last week.
"DO NOT EAT THE BROWN VIAGRA! THE BROWN VIAGRA IS BAD, MAN!"
Your plan to surprise everyone with your dramatic weight loss was spoiled by one too many appearances on "America’s Most Wanted."
Your "Best Athlete" award at USC was recently changed to, "Least Likely to Find the Real Murderer."
"Spunky," known for his embarrassing and public premature ejaculations, is at the back of the conga line and is working his way forward.
These days, everyone knows you as "The Chick Who Dumped Bill Gates."
You’ve already spotted at least three "Joey Tuturro Got Me Pregnant" buttons.
You: Class of 1958 – Most Likely to Succeed. Your date: Class of 2002 – Most likely to get you arrested.
Has she ever forgiven you? Her eyes say, "Maybe," but the lighter fluid in your hair and the match in her hand say, "Not really."

And the Number 1 Sign Your Class Reunion isn’t Going Well…

You were mesmerizing the crowd with tales of playing against Michael Jordan until Ms. "I blew the President" strolled in!

CREDITS

Selected from 101 submissions from 37 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5081498