The list for October 10, 1997
The Top 16 Signs Your Cat is
Plotting World Domination
Plotting World Domination
- Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
- Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
- Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.
- When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.
- Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and nine suicide bombs.
- What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose step.
- Well, *somebody* subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
- Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN Building.
- Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
- Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."
- Then — dead mice in the kitchen. Now — dead third world dictators in the basement.
- Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology.
- Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
- Has recently been acting somewhat… aloof.
- What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination…
- Somehow, you’re now subscribed to "Feline of Fortune" magazine.
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CREDITS
Selected from 128 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 1, 10 (1st #1!)
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 2
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 3, 9
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 4, 7
- Gayle Ehrenman, New York, NY — 4
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 4
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 5
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 6, 11
- Tom Louderback, Boston, MA — 6
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 8
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 12
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong — 13 <
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 13
- Tisha Stacey, Lisle, IL — 14, Topic
- Josh Robertson, Bronx, NY — 15
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 16
- Eric Foster, Altamonte Springs, FL — Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY — Owner/editor
- The Cure, London, England — Ambience
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