Signs Your Boss Is Losing It

The list for March 8, 2013
The Top 16 Signs Your Boss Is Losing It

  1. How else can you explain the cancellation of "Jorts Friday"?

  2. Re-labled the FedEx box out front "Daycare" and has been watching it expectantly all day.

  3. "I want a fresh stool sample on my desk in 20 minutes!"

  4. Sends you to North Korea with Dennis Rodman as part of a team-building "trust exercise."

  5. Decided to give up being leader of the Roman Catholic church in order to open Crazzzzy Joe’s Roman Candle Emporium.

  6. Insists that "profit is the devil’s tool."

  7. Actually expects everyone to believe that we can add 30 million new people to the insurance rolls and it won’t add a single dime to the deficit.

  8. The growing collection of boogers on the wall above the urinal are beginning to take the shape of his signature.

  9. Refers to Martin the CFO as "that slut in accounting."

  10. Every time your co-worker Jack takes a day off, she posts "Jack-off" on the company’s online calendar.

  11. Has started wearing a pyramidal aluminum hat to ""channel the cosmic force of just-in-time inventory in order to bring to the table the next generation customer-centric mindset and B2B best practices with regard to moving forward our proactive mission-critical disruptive value-added next-generation technology core competency while increasing bandwidth and fostering a sea change of seamless integration enabling us to sustainably harvest the low-hanging fruit, reach our benchmarks and milestones, and maximize return on investment."

  12. Insists verbal communication also be in triplicate.

  13. The "Employee Of The Month" parking space is decided by spork fight.

  14. Decides your new sales territory by peeing on a map.

  15. Tries to do an "Undercover Boss" by wearing a cheap handlebar mustache and speaking like Speedy Gonzalez.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Boss Is Losing It…

  1. Suggests running the assembly line backward as a source of parts.
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CREDITS
Selected from 76 submissions from 27 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 1, 6 (8th #1)
  • Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 2
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 3, 8
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 4
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 5
  • Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI — 7
  • Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan — 9
  • Shaune R. Stark, Cedar Park, TX — 10
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 11
  • Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 12
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY — 13
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — 14
  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX — 15
  • Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 16
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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