Signs You Suffer From Road Rage (Part I)

The list for November 5, 1997

The Top 15 Signs You Suffer From Road Rage
(Part I)

Driver’s license exam question: “When passing on right always:” Your answer: “Shoot to Kill.”
State Farm refuses to insure a personal vehicle with gun turrets.
Other commuters force you into a rest area and conduct a rush-hour intervention.
You’ve packed enough guns and ammo to make a Tarantino film, yet you’re just going to the market to buy milk.
You have an open account at Earl Scheib.
Your blood pressure’s higher than Ditka’s.
Someone cuts you off and the next thing you know, two members of your carpool get killed in the crossfire.
You’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome in your middle finger.
You mounted your wipers on the inside to clear the spittle.
Lazy chopper pilot for Fox TV’s “Real Crashes” simply waits in vacant lot next to your garage.
A) Teeth marks on steering wheel all the way down to the 5 and 7 o’clock positions; B) You’re NOT Christian Slater, Mike Tyson, or Marv Albert.
Left forearm bigger than Popeye’s from giving the finger and aiming the Uzi.
In traffic, that throbbing vein in your forehead gets big enough to honk the horn on its own.
You can’t resist firing off a few practice shots whenever you pass a Target store.

And the Number 1 Sign You Suffer From Road Rage…

CREDITS

Selected from 121 submissions from 44 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5110597