The list for June 2, 1998
The Top 16 Signs You Put Your
Kid in the Wrong Pre-School
Kid in the Wrong Pre-School
- Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of "Lord of the Flies."
- Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants.
- "OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!"
- Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers.
- First school fund-raiser is for the Salman Rushdie fatwa reward prize.
- No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret’s School for the Gender Ambiguous directly into the NBA.
- Practice of "trapping and killing your lunch" not mentioned in brochure.
- Leather-clad teacher announces that the letters for today are S and M.
- Two words: Full Montessori
- The classroom hamster is really just a wad of cotton from an aspirin bottle.
- She can’t say her ABC’s, but she can re-sole your Nikes in 20 seconds flat.
- Even the baby bottles have pierced nipples.
- For snack time, it’s always anchovies and Clamato.
- "Do-Bee" always seems to have the munchies.
- The teacher sends home a note reading, "Your snot-nosed little bastard stole my tequila."
And the Number 1 Sign You Put Your Kid in the Wrong Pre-School…
- On the first day, the children are divided into "pimps" and "hos."
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CREDITS
Selected from 129 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Tom Bestor, Oakland, CA — 1, Topic (1st #1!)
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ — 1 (3rd #1)
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 2
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 3
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 4
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 5
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 6
- Martell Stroup, Boston, MA — 6
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA — 7
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 8
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 9
- M.J. Finan, Cleveland, OH — 10, 16
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 11
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 12
- Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX — 13
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 14
- Shari Fisch, Jerusalem, Israel — 15 (Rookie!)
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — RU List Name
- Nathan Hansar, Canberra, Australia — Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Barenaked Ladies, Toronto, Ontario, Canada — Ambience
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