The list for January 22, 1998
The Top 15 Signs You Hired the
Wrong Halftime Entertainment
Wrong Halftime Entertainment
- "Hanson, Manson — what’s the difference?"
- The theme? "Celebrity Tribute to Downhill Skiing"
- Choreographer evidently misunderstood when you told her you wanted to see "jocks."
- "Madame Foo-Foo’s Flying Flea Circus Extravaganza" sounded so much, well, *bigger* over the phone.
- The Mapplethorpe exhibit really doesn’t lend itself to this kind of venue.
- Violence breaks out just as the "Kathie Lee Singers" break into the fourth verse of "Kumbaya."
- One word: Mmmflop
- Military jacket, silver glove, pasty skin — hey, that’s not LeAnn Rimes!
- Sure the Nude Accordionist Symphony rocked the joint, you just didn’t anticipate the exorbitant worker’s comp claims.
- The "Travelling Tijuana Donkey Show" had such a nutty *ring* to it. Who knew!?
- Dirk Diggler: Baton Twirler Extraordinaire.
- In an attempt to make his show big enough for the Super Bowl, Gallagher’s dropping watermelons from the Goodyear Blimp.
- "Super Bowl Magic!" — 1,000 magicians on the field performing card tricks.
- You moron! *RICHARD* Jewel isn’t the one with the Grammy nominations!
- Star of the show plowed under by second half action after failing to find a way out of his "box."
And the Number 1 Sign You Hired the Wrong Halftime Entertainment…
- Booking agency mistakenly sends Chubby Pecker.
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CREDITS
Selected from 135 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 1 (11th #1)
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 2, Topic
- Jennifer Markes, West Hollywood, CA — 3
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 4
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 5
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 6
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 7
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 8
- Vickie Neilson, Carlsbad, CA — 9
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH — 10
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA — 11
- John Gennity, Woodhaven, NY — 12
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 13, Topic
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 14
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 15
- Josh Fruhlinger, Oakland, CA — 16
- LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — Banner Tag
- Supertramp, London, England — Ambience
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Jellyfish, San Francisco, CA — Ambience
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