Signs You Have Nothing to Do at Work

The list for December 6, 1996

The Top 15 Signs You Have Nothing to Do at Work

You find yourself looking forward to your next random drug test.
You’ve already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 1997.
The only activity on your calendar? Tuesday/8:00am — Discuss Melrose Place at the water cooler.
You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces image of Elvis.
You’ve actually figured out a way to get Gilligan off that island.
You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.
Wake up, fix Tipper her breakfast and kiss her goodbye, then back to bed.
Over 200 alphabetical, notated, and cross-indexed submissions to today’s Top Five List.
People only come into your office to borrow pencils from your ceiling.
Your employer lets you listen in on his calls from the president.
You *knew* that guy who hired you to find his wife’s killer looked familiar.
No longer content with merely photo-copying your ass, you now scan it and enhance it with Photoshop.
After months of taking frequent breaks, you now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarves.
Your title? Hooters Employee Continuing Education Coordinator.

And the Number 1 Sign You Have Nothing to Do at Work…

The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish.

CREDITS

Selected from 128 submissions from 44 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5120696