The list for August 13, 1996
The Top 16 Signs the Internet Is About to Crash
- Amazing new technology makes Pamela Anderson’s sex video *truly* interactive.
- That darn Good Times virus is on the loose again.
- Dr. Kevorkian’s van spotted in front of America Online CEO Steve Case’s house.
- “Please deposit 25 cents for the next three minutes” heard coming from PC speaker.
- You receive “MAKE MONEY FAST!!!” messages faster than you can delete them.
- Your new audio plug-in sings “Bicycle Built for Two” and calls you “Dave.”
- Your newly-assigned IP address? 999.999.999.999
- “Demi Moore Month” at www.TopFive.com.
- Chubby Scottish guy in the server room keeps yelling, “Cap’n, she can’t hold out much longer!”
- The ValuJet home page suddenly appears onscreen.
- You now hear “Didja want Netscape with that?” when you order a Happy Meal at McDonalds.
- Web surfing with your 300 baud modem has become painfully slow lately.
- Introduction of the ‘Popeil Pocket Modem.’
- Sudden run on Star Trek videos and Jolt Cola.
- You get a Netscape error message stating, “Please put your keyboard in its upright, locked position.”
And the Number 1 Sign the Internet Is About to Crash…
- Robert Downey, Jr. accepts post as new CEO of America Online.
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CREDITS
Selected from 111 submissions by 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 1
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 2
- Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA — 3, 8
- Paul Lara, Temple, TX — 4
- Joel McClure, Sterling Heights, MI — 5
- Jim Louderback, New York, NY — 6, Topic
- Tim Wade, Reno, NV — 7
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 7
- Rick Welshans, Alexandria, VA — 9
- Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA — 10
- Mick McLean, Laramie, WY — 11
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 12
- Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA– 13
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 14
- Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL — 15
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 15
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 16
- Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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