Signs the Cartoon You’re Watching Is Hazardous

The list for January 5, 1998

The Top 15 Signs the Cartoon
You’re Watching Is Hazardous

The spinning of the Mach 1’s wheel during the closing credits of “Speed Racer” gives you convulsions — or is that from the 41 boxes of Cocoa Puffs you had while watching?
The animation’s not by Chuck Jones, it’s by *Jim* Jones.
Previewed by the parental warning code VO for “May Induce Vomiting.”
It claims that “Kaptain Konvulsions Seizure Theater” is filmed in Seizurevision.
That foam on your kids’ lips isn’t from their breakfast shakes.
Personal injury attorneys advertise during the show: “Has your child been severely injured by this cartoon yet?”
Song says “Mort Cohen, the Coyote’s after you… Mort Cohen, if he catches you, you’re through.”
Fine print at beginning: “May cause random outbursts of extreme violence, epileptic seizures, or whatever.”
Mothers of half the elementary school kids are killed by falling anvils in just one week.
Fred’s using that little elephant vacuum cleaner for more than cleaning the floor.
The lead character “Adolf”, the albino rat, and his minions the “Nasties” are marching on “Mole-Land” intent on eradicating the “Shrews” and the kids keep asking to go to the “Nasty youth party” at the mall.
The superhero smokes crack to enhance his strength.
This time, El Kabong implores *you* to whack your little brother with Dad’s Fender Stratocaster.
You start to get that same nauseous feeling you get during the Pauly Shore show.

And the Number 1 Sign the Cartoon You’re Watching Is Hazardous…

CREDITS

Selected from 108 submissions from 39 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

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