The list for May 10, 1996
The Top 18 Signs Ronald McDonald Is Growing Up
- No longer signs paychecks in crayon.
- That new "Mr. Happy Meal."
- He’s got McPubes.
- Now prefers to be called Ron McDonald.
- Distinctive odor of bourbon and stale cigars at personal appearances.
- Two words: sagging buns.
- Replacing floppy red shoes with floppy black wingtips.
- Now offering "Happy Hour" meals.
- Traded in clown suit for long trench coat.
- No longer asks women if they want to see his McNuggets.
- Instead of size 46 shoe, now takes a size 62.
- Gin has replaced make-up as his nose-reddener.
- Hamburgler? Sleeping with the fishes.
- Finally realizes that Pauly Shore isn’t funny.
- That telltale bottle of Clairol Fire Engine Red #4 in his shower.
- Seen with Jack-in-the-Box at strip clubs stuffing fries down g-strings.
- Three kids injured in unfortunate stubble incident.
And the Number 1 Number 1 Sign Ronald McDonald Is Growing Up…
- Has a McBeergut.
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CREDITS
Selected from 108 submissions by 34 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jesse Guidry, New Orleans, LA — 1
- Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA– 2 (Hall of Famer)
- Galen Komatsu, Hawaii– 3
- Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA — 4 (Hall of Famer)
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 5, 18
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 6, 11
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 7 (Hall of Famer)
- Lemon/Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA — 8
- Tim Blankenbaker, Washington, DC — 9
- Elliott Schiff, Pittsburgh, PA — 10
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 12
- JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA — 13
- Norman Kenney, San Diego, CA — 14
- Ward Bahner, Kansas City, MO — 15
- David E. Spiro, Tucson, AZ — 16
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 16, 17
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic (Hall of Famer)
- Chris White, San Diego, CA — List moderator, Topic
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