The list for October 11, 1996
The Top 16 Signs Professional
Atheletes Are Overpaid

  1. Yankee players hire hundreds of 12-year-olds to “stretch those long fly balls.”

  2. Next year’s NBA champs: the Chicago Jordans.

  3. Latest trend in home design? Wine cellars filled with Bud and Colt 45.

  4. Baseball players now spitting Dom Perignon at umpires.

  5. You’re sending your kid to Quarterback Camp — and she’s only 5 years old.

  6. Nothing ends an on-field brawl quicker than a well-timed, “My Limo’s Longer Than Yours.”

  7. If it doesn’t say “Chanel,” Dennis Rodman just won’t wear it.

  8. Pitchers and catchers now trading signals via cell phones.

  9. Most entourages now bigger than Osmond family reunion.

  10. Latest polls show Clinton/Gore only slightly ahead of Jordan/Gretzky.

  11. $200K a year to Bill Clinton, leader of the free world. $3.5 million a year to Jeff George, warmer of the free bench.

  12. “Deion, you’ve just won the Super Bowl! What are you doing next?”
    “I’m BUYING Disneyland!”

  13. NFL athletes rumored to be involved in production of “Star Trek VII: First Down.”

  14. Typical jock’s dog now sporting more gold than Carl Lewis and Mark Spitz combined.

  15. Not enough fingers and toes to count all the millions.
And the Number 1 Sign Professional Atheletes Are Overpaid…

  1. Michael Irvin’s new off-season home? The entire country of Colombia!
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CREDITS
Selected from 98 submissions by 30 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 1
  • Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 2, 14
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 3
  • Gloria Monti, NY, NY — 3 (Rookie!)
  • Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL — 4
  • Perry Friedman, Menlo Park, CA — 5
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 6
  • Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI — 7
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 8
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 9, 16
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 10, 16
  • Matt Alford, Salem, OR — 10
  • Sterling Smith, Houston, TX — 11
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY — 12
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 13
  • Blair Bostick, Alexandria, VA — 15
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 15
  • Elizabeth Edgerton, whereabouts unknown — Topic
  • Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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