The list for November 5, 1996
The Top 16 Signs President
Clinton Is Over-Confident

  1. Starts victory speech 5 minutes after polls open.

  2. Under media pressure, now admits to inhaling, but adds, “I didn’t bogart.”

  3. Making plans to get “strategically bombed.”

  4. Has already resumed dating.

  5. At campaign stops, responds to voters’ comments with, “Yeah, whatever.”

  6. Has already renewed White House digital dish subscription to Playboy Channel for ’97.

  7. Roger Clinton allowed out of seclusion weeks ahead of schedule.

  8. Apparently not even remotely concerned about the weigh-in.

  9. Offers to spot Dole ten electoral votes.

  10. Embarked on non-stop 96-hour cross-country McDonald’s tour.

  11. Against his doctor’s orders, stopped taking his Beano.

  12. Has already purchased a victory bag of “Colombian Catnip”, and it ain’t for Socks.

  13. Spends last day of campaign mooning traffic on Russell, Kansas, street corner.

  14. Instead of the usual 3 pizzas for the White House staff’s Tuesday dinner, orders 5 and doesn’t use a coupon.

  15. Seen wearing a t-shirt that says “I Beat Dole in ’96 and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!”
And the Number 1 Sign President Clinton Is Over-Confident…

  1. After kissing babies in Houston, kisses babes in Hooters.
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CREDITS
Selected from 125 submissions by 40 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 1 (4th #1)
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 2
  • Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 3
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 4
  • Jim Louderback, Boston, MA — 5
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 6
  • Tisha Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 7
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX — 8
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 9
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 10
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 10
  • Chris Edmonds, La Costa, CA — 11
  • Dave George, Arlington, VA — 11
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 11
  • Kate d’Oliveira, Ft. Lauderdale, FL — 12
  • Stephen Pace, Houston, TX — 13
  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 13
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 14
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 15
  • Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 16
  • Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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