The list for October 24, 1997
The Top 15 Signs of Trouble
on the Fleetwood Mac Tour

  1. Stevie Nicks’s shawl now used for warmth, not fashion.

  2. The Clintons leave early, feigning illness.

  3. Mick Fleetwood no longer just looks like a dirty old man, he IS a dirty old man.

  4. Rehearsal time scarce, between AA meetings, tarot readings, attorney consultations & the search for the perfect bon bon.

  5. Stevie taking Thanksgiving Day off to appear in Macy’s parade this year.

  6. Security thugs get out of hand after downing a case of Metamucil.

  7. Distinct possibility of WonderBra collapse threatens nearby homes.

  8. Confused seniors in audience keep yelling for “Hotel California.”

  9. 50% of audience believes that Stevie Nicks has been replaced by Sally Struthers.

  10. More trailer trucks carrying beauty aids than musical equipment.

  11. Harvey Fierstein filling in for Stevie more and more frequently.

  12. Irony of “Fleetwood Mac Tour – Sold Out” T-shirts lost on aging boomer fans.

  13. After age 40, the “cute hippy chick” look mysteriously changes into the “nutty bag lady” look.

  14. Stevie’s twirls, coupled with her bladder problem, leave the front row wetter than at a Gallagher concert.
And the Number 1 Sign of Trouble on the Fleetwood Mac Tour…

  1. “Tusk” now refers to Christine McVie’s stubborn nose hair.
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CREDITS
Selected from 91 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 1 (3rd #1)
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2, 8
  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 3
  • Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 4
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 5
  • Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 6
  • Troy Roberson, Birmingham, AL — 7
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 9
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 10, 13, 15 (Hat trick!)
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 11
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 12
  • Neil Schwartzman, Montreal, Quebec, Canada — 14
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — Topic
  • Tom White, Starkville, MS — Banner Tag
  • Stevie Ray Vaughn & Double Trouble, Austin, TX — Ambience
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