The list for August 27, 1997
The Top 16 Signs MTV Is Getting Old

  1. Shaky camera work more an accident than an artistic choice.

  2. “Remember the 80’s?” becoming less of a rhetorical question every year.

  3. Newest VJ? Abe Vigoda

  4. Tabitha Soren’s latest “hot flashes” ain’t from MTV News.

  5. Anna Nicole Smith seen wandering around Kurt Loder’s trailer.

  6. Rap Artist of the Year: MC Dole

  7. “The Grind” now consists of 70% waltzing and 30% people with broken hips being carried off on stretchers.

  8. On MTV “Unplugged”, new host Jack Kervorkian decides each week which aging rock star to remove from life support.

  9. Signature MTV rocket no longer launches without 15 minutes of manual manipulation.

  10. “Singled Out” replaced by “Widowed Out.”

  11. “Real World – Miami Beach” — Eight crotchety senior citizens share a condominium.

  12. Getting harder and harder to tell the difference between Martha Quinn and Colin Quinn.

  13. Tabitha Soren begins each report by resting her breasts on the desk in front of her.

  14. On tonight’s “Road Rules:” Edwin drives the ’72 Dodge wagon too slow in the left hand lane taking the gang to the Early Bird special at the local Hojos.

  15. Newest All-Girl Alternative Band: Joan of AARP
And the Number 1 Sign MTV Is Getting Old…

  1. “Oy! MTV Complains!”
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CREDITS
Selected from 102 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 1, 6 (4th #1)
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 2
  • Fred Hesby, Portland, OR — 3, 15
  • Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 3, 5
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 4
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 6
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 6
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 6
  • Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 6, 13
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 6, 9, Topic
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 7
  • Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 7, 14
  • Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 8
  • R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 10
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 11
  • Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 11
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 12
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 16
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — Banner tag
  • The Buggles, London, England — Ambience
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