The list for September 25, 1997
The Top 15 Signs Don King
is Catering Your Wedding
is Catering Your Wedding
- You paid him $25,000, but the entrees are Big Macs.
- Your sister was coerced into getting married on the undercard.
- Not even bride’s father dares to cut in during daughter’s dance with Busboy Mike.
- Hairballs in the meatballs.
- You can’t decide which to eat — "The Creamiest Carrot Cake In Culinary Creation" or "Positively the Purest Perfect Pumpkin Pie In The Pantheon of Pastries."
- Everyone rejects the complimentary dental floss based on entirely reasonable grounds.
- Before he can say "I do," the groom takes a dive.
- "And in this corner, wearing white and weighing in at 150 — er, 130 — pounds… Wendy ‘The Bride’ Wilson!"
- Bride’s got a shiner the size of Delaware.
- DJ opens the dance floor with "Let’s get ready to rhummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
- At every table: spit bucket and a cut man.
- "You can gesticulate, you can articulate, you can even prevaricate, but you won’t believe your tongue when you masticate my Apple Brown Betty!"
- Bartender does more than talk your ear off.
- Order placed for "Wedding Coke" is not a typo.
And the Number 1 Sign Don King is Catering Your Wedding…
- Look again, Chester — that’s no chef’s hat!
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CREDITS
Selected from 107 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 1, 9 (11th #1)
- Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 2
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 3, 6
- Kris Johnson, Burbank, CA — 4
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 5
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 6
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 6
- Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 7, 8
- Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 8
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 9
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 9
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 9
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 9
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 10
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 11
- Don Horton, Sacramento, CA — 12
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 12
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 13
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 14
- Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 14
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 15
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — Topic
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY — Owner/editor
- Billy Idol, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
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