Signs American Students Are Lacking Math and Science Skills

The list for December 5, 1996

The Top 15 Signs American Students
Are Lacking Math and Science Skills

Typical science student thinks the Energizer Bunny disproves that “conservation of energy” theory.
They think “Bill Nye the Science Guy” is a grunge band.
Hilarious “Top 5” list by proported high school graduate always has 12 or more entries.
One, they can’t count. Three, they can’t add.
And the number 3 sign that American Students are Lacking Math and Science Skills…
Ranks of chemists thinned by constant mistaking of H2SO4 for H2O.
Hey, it’s tough counting the number of beers in a six pack.
If they can’t find a #2 pencil for a test, they bring half of a #3.
Most students can’t locate the earth on a globe.
Science Fair project demonstrates Space Shuttle fuel consumption using bottle of Tequila & lemon wedges.
“Algorithm” may sound like liquored-up Vice President bustin’ a move, but it’s not.
Your child consistently confuses “Pi-R-Squared” with “Pizza Pizza.”
Then: Intricate handmade bombs with precise triggering mechanisms. Now: Ryder truck filled with cow manure.
Actually, six out of five math teachers say there’s no problem whatsoever.

And the Number 1 Sign American Students Are Lacking Math and Science Skills…

CREDITS

Selected from 125 submissions from 48 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T512