Signs Alien Civilizations Aren’t So Advanced (Part II)

by | Oct 4, 1996 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

The list for October 4, 1996
The Top 15 Signs Alien Civilizations
Aren’t So Advanced
(Part II)

  1. Kato Kaelin shrines on every corner.

  2. That “Rejected Hurricane Names” list? Created by aliens.

  3. Not even smart enough to evade tabloid photographers.

  4. Still watching 2001: A Space Odyssey on beta-max.

  5. All it takes is Sigourney Weaver or the Fresh Prince to kick their collective asses.

  6. Most popular cybervision show on Alpha Centauri? Studs.

  7. Over 150 billion subspace channels, but good luck finding something other than an infomercial at 2 a.m.

  8. They’ve renamed their home world “CYGNUS PRIME, 90210.”

  9. Their chosen point of contact after lightyears of space travel? Bubba’s Tire Repair in Hawktree, AL.

  10. Still think digital watches are cool.

  11. Earth Mission Objective #1: Steal latest Ronco and Popiel technology.

  12. They can fly millions of miles across interstellar space, yet still can’t fold a frickin’ road map.

  13. Last Earth-bound spacecraft was destroyed by Frisbee-catching dog.

  14. Always losing their best-looking women to Captain Kirk.
And the Number 1 Sign Alien Civilizations Aren’t So Advanced…

  1. They seem just a tad too trigger happy with that anal probe.
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CREDITS
Selected from 135 submissions by 39 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 1 (1st #1!)
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 2, 11
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 2
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 3
  • Galen Tatsuo Komatsu, Hawaii! — 4
  • Robin Starveling, Dallas, TX — 5
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX — 6
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — 7
  • Blair Bostick, Alexandria, VA — 8
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 9
  • Tony Hill, from Nelson, B.C., Canada — 10
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 11
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 11
  • John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 11
  • Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 11
  • Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI — 12
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 13
  • Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR — 14
  • Chris Gleason, Germantown, MD — 15
  • Gabe Helou, whereabouts unknown — Topic
  • Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
T5100496