The list for October 3, 1996
The Top 15 Signs Alien Civilizations
Aren’t So Advanced
(Part I)
Aren’t So Advanced
(Part I)
- Crop circles? Nothing more than an intergalactic Etch-A-Sketch.
- Latest signal intercepted by SETA contains the repeated phrase, “I know you are, but what am I?”
- Get such a big kick out of mooning Carl Sagan and Stephan Hawking.
- Safely traverse light years through the cosmos only to crash into an Air Force base in the middle of a desert.
- Still trying to develop a sitcom for Tom Arnold.
- Alpha Centauri Stellarway constantly jammed with old farts creeping along at 2.25X10e8 mps.
- Cigar-shaped UFO’s are a classic indication that they are developmentally trapped in the phallic stage.
- Can’t explain the infield fly rule.
- After traveling *billions* of miles to select ONE human being, the dumb bastards chose Richard Dreyfuss.
- At MarsMart, Vanilla Ice 8-tracks are literally flying off the shelves.
- Who invented the Eggo? We did, saucer-boy!
- It may be atomic, but it’s *still* an outhouse.
- Their first words: “Take us to your skipper, little buddy.”
- Still haven’t made the connection between peanut butter and jelly.
And the Number 1 Sign Alien Civilizations Aren’t So Advanced…
- They certainly could have chosen a better infiltrator than Dennis Rodman.
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CREDITS
Selected from 135 submissions by 39 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Joel McClure, Sterling Heights, MI — 1, 12 (2nd #1)
- Galen Tatsuo Komatsu, Hawaii! — 2
- Blair Bostick, Alexandria, VA — 3
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 4
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 5
- Kathleen Buchanan, Tuscaloosa, AL — 6
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 7
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 8
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 9
- Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI — 10
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 11
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 13
- Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 14
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 15
- Gabe Helou, whereabouts unknown — Topic
- Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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