Side-Effects of the Female Orgasm Pill

The list for April 18, 1997
The Top 15 Side-Effects
of the Female Orgasm Pill

  1. Forget your anniversary? No problem. Forget to stop at the pharmacy? Kiss your sorry ass good-bye.

  2. More huge smiles & dazed looks than at a Moonie mass wedding.

  3. Entire male population puts on their Nikes, knits a purple shroud, and sits down for a nice lunch of applesauce and vodka.

  4. Spiking the punch *really* shakes things up at the Senior Prom.

  5. The President finds he has much more time to deny allegations.

  6. Sen. Orrin Hatch withdraws Constitutional Amendment to ban pill after a good ass-kicking from Mrs. Hatch.

  7. Undertakers working overtime to wipe those smiles off.

  8. Severe sales slump forces the Energizer Bunny to look for work elsewhere.

  9. Finally, after several decades — a new topic for Country-Western songs!

  10. The Betty Ford Clinic adds a new wing.

  11. Due to unexpected flashbacks, housewives everywhere are being banned from the supermarket.

  12. Porno movie casts pared down to a woman and a glass of water.

  13. “Hey, handsome — The bartender tells me you’re a pharmacist…”

  14. “Coming, Mother!” takes on a whole new meaning.
And the Number 1 Side-Effect of the Female Orgasm Pill…

  1. Janet Reno cracks a smile.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 107 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 1, 6 (6th #1)
  • Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 1 (5th #1)
  • Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 1 (4th #1)
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 2
  • Jonathan Cook, Madison, WI — 3
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 4, 11
  • Debbie Lander, Las Vegas, NV — 5
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 6
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 6, 14
  • Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 7
  • Matt Alford, Portland, OR — 8
  • Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX — 9
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 10
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 12
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 13
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 13
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 15
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA — List owner/editor
T5041897

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