Secret Service Agent Pet Peeves

The list for October 8, 2020
The Top 16 Secret Service Agent
Pet Peeves

  1. Taking a bullet from a Russian spy, then finding out that you have to declare it as a gift from a foreign government.

  2. Unlike the Men in Black, you have no cool "flashy thing" to make it go away.

  3. Can’t make a trip through Dallas without constant POTUS side-eye.

  4. Just when you get back to the motorcade with his three Big Macs, the jerk decides he does want fries after all.

  5. Keeping a straight face during the Mussolini poses.

  6. Eric thinks it’s funny to pop an inflated paper bag in the Oval Office.

  7. With the change in season comes the task of rearranging Melania’s lipstick holder.

  8. Vice President Pence keeps asking, "Do you like movies about Gladiators?"

  9. Turning the White House inside out trying in vain to locate a Bible to be used as a prop.

  10. You can never remember which family member has the code name "Bumbling A-hole."

  11. Now *you’ve* started calling them "hamberders," too.

  12. Having to explain the Marmaduke cartoons to that son-in-law guy.

  13. No matter how many showers you take you can never wash off the stink of KFC and shame.

  14. The job just isn’t that exciting when the greatest threat to the President is his own Twitter account.

  15. Repeatedly whispering correct pronunciations of damn near everything.
And the Number 1 Secret Service Agent Pet Peeve…

  1. Having to sit at the kid’s table at Mar-a-Lago with Jared and Don Jr.

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Selected from 74 submissions from 25 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Kevin Freels, Moraga, CA — 1, 16 (34th #1)
  • Mike Vance, Houston, TX — 2, 12
  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 3
  • Brad Wilkerson, Mesa, AZ — 4, 9, 14 (Hat trick!)
  • Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 5, 11
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 6
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 7
  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 8
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 10
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — 13, list moderator
  • Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA — 15

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