The list for March 23, 1998
The Top 16 Scenes Cut from Titanic
- Hilarity ensues when someone replaces the life jackets with whoopee cushions.
- Right after the ship hits the iceberg, the Captain hits the First Mate over the head with his cap, saying "Gilligan, you idiot!"
- P-Funk Mothership descends on the quarterdeck and plays "Aqua Boogie" while Sir Nose d’Voidoffunk wails that he can’t swim.
- Twenty passengers cling to Kate Winslet’s implants for safety.
- Crazy French skunk sneaks on board and tries to romance Rose’s black cat, who rubbed against a freshly-painted white pole.
- Sexy young Strom Thurmond is saved when his new friend, Sven the handsome Swedish steward, heroically gives up his lifeboat seat.
- Battle over survivors breaks out between the "Carpathia" and the "Kevorkian."
- Gopher, Isaac, and Doc escaping on a lifeboat with some stolen jewels and divorcees Karen Valentine, Connie Stevens and Charo.
- At the 2 hours and 20 minute mark, dinner guest #5 throws down his napkin and exclaims, "Will this damned thing ever end?!?"
- A computer-generated Herve Villachaise screaming "De berg, Boss, de berg!"
- Fearing theme song will "go on forever," Celine Dion’s grandmother leaps from lifeboat.
- The evil fiancé reveals that he’s Jack’s father and suggests they overthrow the Captain and rule the ship together as father and son.
- Kathie Lee belting out, "If they could see me drown…"
- Blooper in which Marlon Brando’s "iceberg" makeup slips off.
- Wanting his Scotch "on the rocks," First Mate Skippy Hazelwood deliberately steers the ship into the iceberg.
And the Number 1 Scene Cut from Titanic…
- Captain Clinton shows Rose his dinghy.
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CREDITS
Selected from 123 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, RU list name (6th #1)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 2
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 2, 11
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 3
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 4
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 5
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 6, 10
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 7
- William Gray, San Jose, CA — 8
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 9
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA — 12
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 13, 16
- Keith Martin, Atlanta, GA — 14
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 15
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 15
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA — Topic
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Aqua, Copenhagen, Denmark — Ambience
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