Reasons to Kiss Up to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

The list for August 2, 1996

The Top 16 Reasons to Kiss Up to
the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

The paperboy just might stop throwing the paper on the roof.
Let’s just say they got a hold of some pictures we’d rather not see published.
Editors can take you to last bar in America still serving “Billy Beer.”
Tried kissing up to Ted Turner, but he was busy trying to colorize Bob Dole.
Olympics, Schmolympics — I wanna timepiece!
Because we failed miserably in our attempt to kiss up to the stuffy New York Times.
It couldn’t hurt. Who knows, maybe someday they’ll hold a position of respect and influence.
Because if they really like you, they let your kids play on their printing presses.
Top Five List makes excellent insipid filler replacement for insipid Olympic filler.
Possibility of obtaining AJC’s sweet front row seats to Olympic Synchronized Swimming Finals.
With a little luck, they’ll stop reprinting those lame David Letterman lists, and start printing these lame Top 5 lists instead.
Maybe they’ll forget about that time I paid for 1 paper but took 10 out of the machine.
Having name published in AJC could result in date with “Pocket Hercules.”
Haven’t you seen Playboy’s “Women of the AJC” issue??
Because hyphenated names are cool.

And the Number 1 Reason to Kiss Up to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution…

CREDITS

Selected from 84 submissions by 29 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

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