Questions on the Spice Girl Job Application

The list for June 11, 1997
The Top 14 Questions on the
Spice Girl Job Application

  1. In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really, really, want this job.

  2. Would it, like, bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?

  3. How would you best describe yourself?
    ( ) An energetic self-starter
    ( ) A team player
    ( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet.

  4. True or false: A mosh pit is the seed of the mosh fruit.

  5. "I am willing to trade sexual favors for a career in the music industry."
    ( ) Yes
    ( ) No

  6. How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?

  7. Does nudity bother you? If so, should I put my clothes back on?

  8. Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine and modern behavioralist psychology. Just kidding!! Seriously, do you like leather min-skirts

  9. Are you deceptively attractive in colored or stroboscopic light?

  10. Choose an appropriate nickname:
    ( ) Sexy
    ( ) Nasty
    ( ) Sweetie
    ( ) Chlamydia

  11. Have you ever been convicted of combining vertical and horizontal stripes?

  12. If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers, and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in spandex?

  13. Does the term "force majeure in perpetuity" make you afraid or just giggly?
And the Number 1 Question on the Spice Girl Job Application…

  1. If required as part of your deal with Satan, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles’s loneliness?
.
CREDITS
Selected from 78 submissions from 30 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 1, 7 (2nd #1)
  • Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 2
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 3
  • Dave George, Arlington, VA — 4
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 5, 15
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 6
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 8
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 9
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 10
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 10
  • R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 10
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 11
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 12, 15
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — 12, Topic
  • Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 13
  • Matt Alford, Portland, OR — 14
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 14
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — Topic
  • Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
T5061197

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