The list for July 14, 1994
The Top 15 Questions Asked
of Supreme Court Nominees

  1. Have you read all the John Grisham novels?

  2. Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

  3. Jockeys or boxers?

  4. What do you like on your pizza?

  5. Asphinctersays WHAT?

  6. How ’bout that O.J. mess?

  7. OK, let’s say a long-time senator from a very famous family goes for a drive with his secretary, and kind of, ya know, drives off a bridge or something, killing the babe — he wouldn’t be guilty, would he?

  8. Ever done Madonna?

  9. Should the rabbit be allowed to eat Trix?

  10. Is justice a) eagle-eyed, b) sorta near-sighted, or c) blind as a bat?

  11. Is that Regis Philbin just nuts or what?

  12. Have you ever appeared, or do you ever plan to appear in a Bruce Willis movie?

  13. How come you don’t have a babe-magnet beard like Bork’s?

  14. Got any naked photos of your illegal nanny?
And the Number 1 Question Asked of Supreme Court Nominees…

  1. Can you give Justice Souter a lift to work when his mom’s sick?
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CREDITS
Selected from 111 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Marshal Perlman, Palm Bay, FL – 1
  • Jeff Ammons, Atlanta, GA – 2 (Rookie!)
  • Sean Erwin, San Diego, CA – 3, 11
  • Gail Celio, E. Lansing, MI – 4
  • Galen Tatsuo Komatsu, HA – 5
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY – 6
  • Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN – 7
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC – 8, 12
  • Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA – 8, 14
  • J.B. Leibovitch, Rockridge, CA – 8 (Rookie!)
  • Jim Louderback, San Francisco, CA – 9
  • Norman Kenney, Vista, CA – 10
  • Don Findlay, Mt. Vernon, IA – 10
  • Chris White, San Diego, CA – 13
  • John Hering, Alexandria, VA – 15
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