The list for August 19, 1997
The Top 15 Psychic Predictions
for Princess Di
for Princess Di
- “Since marriage to the future King of England is not in your future, you will settle for a comfortable arrangement with the newly available King of Pop.”
- “The Macarena craze will re-ignite after you are videotaped taking lessons naked on a yacht.”
- “An image of you will appear in a magazine, or perhaps a newspaper, at sometime. A man will be rumored to be your lover.”
- “You will kick Jaclyn Smith’s ass and start your ‘Trailer Park Princess’ line of clothes for K-Mart.”
- “Instead of being hounded by British paparazzi and cheap American tabloids, you will be hounded by Egyptian paparazzi and cheap Sumerian tabloids.”
- “You will be happier with your new man, since hummus is easier to regurgitate than roast beef.”
- “After a near death experience, you will shed your worldly possessions, join Greenpeace, and once again be known as ‘The Princess of Whales.'”
- “You will lose your lawsuit against AT&T over the ‘Princess’ phone.”
- “Using your remaining sovereign authority to fulfill an adolescent fantasy, you will order Ringo Starr brought to your chambers covered in chocolate.”
- “A semi-successful career B-films will be yours after the inevitable Playboy pictorial.”
- “In an effort to mend fences with the Royal Family, you will beat the snot out of Fergie.”
- “You will become the 6th Spice Girl, ‘Ex-Royalty Spice.'”
- “Well, you won’t be the queen, but you may one day *own* a Speed Queen.”
- “Looks like your boys are gonna have ears like Dumbo.”
And the Number 1 Psychic Predictions for Princess Di…
- “I see a storybook wedding to a prince. Wait… er, strike that.”
.
CREDITS
Selected from 65 submissions from 26 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 1 (10th #1)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2, 4, 8
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 3
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 4
- Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 4
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 4, 7
- Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 4, 9
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 5, 15
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 6
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 10
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 11
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 12
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 13
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 14
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 15
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 15
- Jay Allen, Long Beach, CA — 15, Topic
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — Banner tag
- Queen, London, England — Ambience
T5081997