Program Synopses You’ll Never See in “TV Guide”

by | Feb 4, 1997 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

The list for February 4, 1997
The Top 15 Program Synopses You’ll
Never See in “TV Guide”

  1. Jeopardy 700: Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh square off to provide ignorant answers to general questions.

  2. American Gladiators: A steroid experiment goes haywire.

  3. Biography!: Ed Asner and Ernest Borgnine (warning – program contains nudity).

  4. Saturday Night Live: Members of the studio audience are chosen at random to replace the current cast.

  5. NBC Nightly News: With co-anchors Tom Brokaw and Richard Jewell.

  6. Ellen: Ellen sings and dances out of the closet right into your heart!

  7. The *New* 6-Million Dollar Man: Jimmie J.J. Walker stars as “The Ebonic Man.”

  8. Monday Night Football: Frank and Dan make a startling announcement, after which Reverend Jesse Jackson performs a special ceremony. Live from Hawaii.

  9. Friends: An ugly person joins the clique (non-actor/non-model Dan Feminella stars).

  10. The Frugal Gourmet: Jeff works his magic with cocktail weenies.

  11. Murder, He Ran: Famous ex-athlete murders his ex-wife while wearing gloves, a ski cap and designer shoes. Hijinks ensue.

  12. Mad About You: After realizing his wife is gorgeous, Paul Reiser spends all day in bed with her instead of whining about stupid things. She, however, seems *oddly* uninterested.

  13. McGyver: McGyver manages to create an audience out of nothing but a cliched script and some duct tape, but remains baffled by strange blinking lights on his VCR.

  14. Achy Breaky Tenors: A Salute to Billy Ray Cyrus. (4 hrs.) Starring Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo, Jose Canseco.
And the Number 1 Synopsis You’ll Never See in “TV Guide”…

  1. Sesame Street: Big Bird desecrates a papparazi’s car from his office window.
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CREDITS
Selected from 117 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 1 (4th #1)
  • Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 2
  • Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 3
  • Jeff Ammons, Atlanta, GA — 3 (Welcome back!)
  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 4
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 5
  • Marshal Perlman, Minneapolis, MN — 6
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 7
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 8
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 9
  • Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 10
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 11
  • Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 12
  • Marshal Perlman, Minneapolis, MN — 13
  • Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 13
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 14
  • Matt Alford, Salem, OR — 15
  • Peg Warner, Derry, NH — Topic
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic
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