The list for October 7, 1996
The Top 14 Problems With
Being Married to Superman
Being Married to Superman
- Oh sure, he can leap over tall buildings in a single bound, but try getting him to mow the lawn.
- Thanksgiving in Smallville every friggin’ year.
- Evidence of interplanetary philandering awfully hard to come by.
- Krypto the Super Dog keeps breaking guests’ shins at dinner parties.
- Turns the Earth backwards an hour if he misses “Melrose.”
- Turns out that straight-laced Clark Kent is one mighty kinky S.O.B.
- His way of ending every argument with, “And who’s the one who saved the world last week?!?”
- More powerful than a locomotive, especially after a 7-11 burrito.
- Whenever he sees that damn “Bat-Signal” up in the sky, he’s impotent for days.
- Always asking, “Do these tights make my ass look fat?”
- Loves that “pull my finger” gag, despite the damage it causes to your home’s foundation.
- Before you married, he could move entire planets — now, he can’t move his ass off the couch.
- Is it “the change,” or is he just playing with his heat vision again?
And the Number 1 Problem With Being Married to Superman…
- A homeless, toothless Margot Kidder keeps showing up on your doorstep and bellowing, “He’s mine! Do you hear me?! He’s mine!!”
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CREDITS
Selected from 127 submissions by 33 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 1 (2nd #1)
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 2, 14
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 3
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 4
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 5
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 6
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 7, 14, Topic
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 8
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 9
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 10
- Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI — 11
- Don Horton, Sacramento, CA — 12
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 13
- Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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