The list for May 20, 1996
The Top 15 Problems Encountered
Along the Olympic Torch Route
Along the Olympic Torch Route
- Forward progress hampered by slow moving white Bronco.
- Torch commandeered in Waco by over-zealous ATF agents.
- One *really* pissed off Smokey the Bear.
- Budget cuts cause torch to be replaced by less-than-dependable Bic lighter.
- Difficulty getting melted marshmellows off torch after “s’mores” party got out of hand.
- Running 7 miles before realizing the torch is still on top of the urinal at the last rest stop.
- First-degree burns to runners unfamiliar with how to “receive the baton.”
- Jim Bob, lying in wait on the outskirts of Memphis with a case of Bud and a supersoaker.
- Rosie Ruiz takes flame in NYC — appears 30 minutes later in Atlanta.
- Drive-by goosings.
- Torchbearers driven insane by repeated playing of the “Chariots of Fire” theme.
- Torch-jackings in urban areas.
- Crazed hippie terrorists replace Olympic Torch with new Olympic Bong.
- Male runners repeatedly get lost and refuse to stop for directions.
And the Number 1 Problem Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route…
- Obnoxious drunks who run up and yell, “No, I meant a BUD light!”
.
CREDITS
Selected from among 73 submissions by 24 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Dave George, Arlington, VA — 1, 10
- Caroline Gennity, Queens, NY — 2, 4
- Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA — 3
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 5 (Hall of Famer)
- Jim Louderback, New York, NY — 5
- Randy Wohl, Israel — 6
- Lemon/Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA — 7
- Perry Friedman, Palo Alto, CA — 7, 11
- Rick Welshans, Alexandria, VA — 8
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 9 (Hall of Famer)
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 12
- Tom Louderback, Breckenridge, CO — 12
- Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI — 13
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 13
- David E. Spiro, Tucson, AZ — 14
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 14 (Rookie!)
- Sharon Silva, Clarksville, TN — 15 (Rookie!)
T5052096