The list for February 3, 1997
The Top 15 Other Ways to
Tell When Spring Is Coming
Tell When Spring Is Coming
- Joey Buttafuoco’s plumage becomes more colorful and Heidi Fleiss’ buttocks become red and enlarged.
- Jenny McCarthy switches from fur bikini to string bikini.
- Your cat rolls surface-to-air missiles into position against mockingbirds.
- The year’s first appearance of a Dallas Cowboy before a grand jury.
- Minneapolis weather forecast downgraded from “really friggin’ cold” to “extremely cold.”
- Rush Limbaugh takes off the wool flag and wraps himself in a cotton one.
- Seasonally correct Dennis Rodman switches back to white pumps & gloves.
- A warm, gentle funnel cloud picks up the first Tulsa double-wide of the season and drops it near Wichita.
- TV’s Ellen comes out of the closet and doesn’t see her shadow.
- A young man’s fancy turns to compulsion to hump everything in sight.
- All across America — single women start shaving their legs again.
- AOL members who joined in December are finally able to get a connection.
- If Darryl Strawberry stumbles out of a bar and scratches himself, we got us an early spring training.
- NRA offers reward for carcass of first robin.
And the Number 1 Other Way to Tell When Spring Is Coming…
- Soup of the Day: Groundhog Stew
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CREDITS
Selected from 136 submissions from 51 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 1 (6th #1)
- Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 2
- Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 3
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 4
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 5
- Marianne Tatom, Austin, TX — 6
- Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 7
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 8
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 9
- Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Cananda — 9 >
- Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX — 10
- Bill Gray, Waterloo, Ontario, Canada — 11 (Rookie!)
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 12
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 13
- Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI — 14
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 15
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