The list for December 9, 1997
The Top 16 Other Revelations
of Former Mouseketeers
of Former Mouseketeers
- Two hits of mescaline from the guy in the mouse suit would get you much happier than a line from the guy in the duck suit.
- The never-explained disappearance of black Mousketeer “Arnold.”
- Lassie was a boy before those little Mouseketeers bastards showed up.
- 50-something Mouseketeers forced to give Mike Ovitz a tonguebath as part of his severance package.
- Doreen now trades lap dances at the senior center for bingo money.
- Siamese Mouseketeers Cheng and Eng, linked at the ears, were dumped before the first show.
- Point the mouse ears just right and you can pick up Radio Free Cuba.
- Roy was actually Al Roker in “whiteface.”
- Cubby ostracized by other members after admission of ear fetish.
- Cubby “seeded” the female cast members regularly in Walt’s crazed attempt to bioengineer a race of untainted mouseketeers.
- Proof of Chuck’s disturbing devotion to the mouse: whisker implants.
- The leads in Toy Story were named “Buzz” and “Woody” in honor of a Walt, if you know what I mean.
- Mouseketeers routinely required to attend “Ears Only” dress rehearsals for Uncle Walt and his buddies.
- Mickey Mouse: high voice, affinity for young children, white/black skin — sound familiar?
- Annette got some help filling out that sweater from Chip ‘n’ Dale.
And the Number 1 Other Revelation of Former Mouseketeers…
- Anyone remember Mouseketeer “Little Teddy” Kaczynski?
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CREDITS
Selected from 100 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 1 (1st #1!)
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 2
- Jay Allen, Long Beach, CA — 3
- John Gennity, Woodhaven, NY — 4
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 5
- Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 6
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 7, 16
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 8
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 9
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 10
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 11
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 12
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 13
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 14
- Barry T. Smith, Boulder Creek, CA — 15
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — Banner Tag
- The Boomtown Rats, London, England — Ambience
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