Other Predictions From the International Astronomical Union

The list for March 16, 1998

The Top 16 Other Predictions From the
International Astronomical Union

Asteroid will miss Earth by 600,000 miles, but Earth will then graze a huge space iceberg and sink 5 hours later.
As Asteroid 1997-XF11 crosses Jupiter’s cusp today, romance seems likely. Watch out for Capricorns and Libra, but seek out those Geminis! Your lucky number is 9.”
The planet Pluto probably looks nothing like the cartoon dog.
In 47.602 billion years, there will be only two constellations, both of which will resemble 1970 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser station wagons.
Quayle in 2000!
A huge meteor will hit Earth shortly. It’s over 100 miles wide and has “Hubbell” written on its side.
the universe is contracting, the size of John Goodman’s ass will continue to expand exponentially.
Them Spice Girls is out of this world!
The “Big Bang” must inevitably be followed by the “Big Cigarette,” then the “Big Sandwich,” and ultimately the “Big Sleep.”
Primary element in the Milky Way galaxy? Nougat.
The traffic lights wiiill chaaange… NOW!… No wait. Okay, NOW!… Dammit! How about… NOW!?
*Our* moon isn’t made of cheese, but Ganymede? Nothin’ but Gouda!
The moon will impact the ocular orb in a manner resembling a large, hot, red-yellow pepperoni-laden disk, and the event will be named after its discoverer, Enrico Amore.
The sun’ll come out tomorrow. Bet yer bottom dollar!
“Our credibility is falling!!! Our credibility is falling!!!”

And the Number 1 Other Prediction From the International Astronomical Union…

Astronomer who did the original asteroid-collision calculations will be highly successful in his new janitorial job.

CREDITS

Selected from 121 submissions from 45 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5Mar1698.shtml