The list for August 7, 1997
The Top 15 Old TV Show Plots Updated
for the 90’s (Part I)
for the 90’s (Part I)
- “Gidget Dot Com” — Jenny McCarthy stars as Gidget the world-famous Webmistress and part-time model.
- “The Love Boat” — Doc sells Isaac’s and Gopher’s kidneys to pay for his new girlfriend’s crack habit.
- “Dennis the Menace” — Dennis puts Mr. Wilson through a meat grinder and has a BBQ party. “Good burgers, eh, Mrs. Wilson?”
- “All in the Family” — Archie, freshman representative from Queens, is asked to give keynote speech at Republican National Convention.
- “I Love Lucy” — After hearing the slogan, “Castro must die”, Lucy sneaks into Cuba in Ricky’s bongo drum to dye Fidel’s hair red.
- “Mary Tyler Moore” — Mary convinces Mr. Grant to braid his back hair into some bitchin’ dreadlocks.
- “My Favorite Martian” — Uncle Martin takes an unsavory interest in Jodie Foster.
- “The Howdy Doody Show” — We learn how Buffalo Bob got that particular nickname from the Native Americans.
- “The Fugitive” — Final episode. The FBI announces it has found the *real* murderer. Guest stars Richard Jewell.
- “The Brady Bunch” — The boys each individually confess to Mike after Marsha turns up pregnant.
- “Bewitched” — Samantha responds to Larry Tate’s advances by turning him into a tampon.
- “Gomer Pyle USMC” — Once again, Sergeant Carter doesn’t ask and Gomer doesn’t tell.
- “Gunsmoke Blue” — Same old plots, just a few added shots of Festus’s hairy ass.
- “Mister Ed” — Phat Ed goes to glue factory after becoming latest victim in rap wars.
And the Number 1 Old TV Show Plot Updated for the 90’s…
- “Diff’rent Strokes” — In an effort to collect his millions, Willis and Arnold ambush Mr. Drummond, “Menendez style.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 149 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Dave George, Arlington, VA — 1, 12 (8th #1)
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 2
- Keith Martin, Atlanta, GA — 3
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 4
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 4
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 4
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 4
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 5, 6
- Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 7
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 8, 11
- LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — 9
- Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA — 10
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 12
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 13
- Don Horton, Sacramento, CA — 14
- Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Canada — 15 >
- David Hoffmann — Banner Tag
- The Patridge Family, Pomona, CA — Ambience
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