The list for September 10, 1998
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Today’s guest moderator is Dave Henry from Slidell, Lousisana,
a failed porn star who got canned because of his "hornier than
thou" attitude. He now spends his days as a DBA locked in
his three-wall cube at a major aerospace and defense company.
a failed porn star who got canned because of his "hornier than
thou" attitude. He now spends his days as a DBA locked in
his three-wall cube at a major aerospace and defense company.
The Top 12 Office Activities on the
First Day of Your Boss’s Vacation
First Day of Your Boss’s Vacation
- Best imitation of the boss wins everything in the supply room contest.
- Lock-jimmying contest, immediately followed by a charity raffle of executive office furniture.
- The battle begins for the coveted "Solitaire, Minesweeper, Tetris" Triple Crown.
- Use boss’ computer to send suggestive emails to the local chapter of NOW.
- Visit local nude beach for daily *staff* meeting.
- A rousing game of "Pin the Secretary’s Tail on the Boss’ Desk."
- Staple that dweeb from accounting to the wall.
- Take pictures of his favorite coffee cup in the toilet. Save for resignation day.
- Purchasing vs. Receiving: Let’s Get Ready to Rummmmbllllle!
- Wagering on intern lip lock endurance matches in the file room.
- "Performance reviews" given by a whimsical painted face on the shipping clerk’s bare ass.
And the Number 1 Office Activity on the First Day of Your Boss’s Vacation…
- Convincing the boss’s daughter be your intern.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 90 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 1 (3rd #1)
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 11, Runner Up List Name
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 3
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 4
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 5 (Hall of Famer)
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 6, 12 (Hall of Famer)
- Diana Salisbury, Chicago, IL — 7
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 8
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 9
- Lisa Oliver, London, England — 10
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — Guest moderator
- Bruce Springsteen, Asbury Park, NJ — Ambience
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