The list for December 20, 1996
The Top 15 No-No’s at Your Office Holiday Party
- Bragging about your 48 game Solitaire winning streak.
- If it’s a leper colony party, no “Pull my finger” gags.
- Offering the babe in Human Resources a little “Christmas Goose.”
- Taking aim and barking “My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!” fails to amuse CEO standing at next urinal.
- Scotch = good, crack = bad.
- No one, and I mean NO ONE, gives a damn about your stupid Top 5 entries.
- Mistaking the boss’s comment about favoring a joint venture as an invitation to “burn one down.”
- Asking your boss if she’s been recently surgically “enhanced.”
- Introducing your boss to your wife with, “This is the reason I’m impotent half the time.”
- Making your own tinsel by running your secretary’s silver lame gown through the office shredder.
- Baiting office toady by waving mistletoe over boss’s butt.
- Sure, “Buttcheek Santa” is funny when *Jim Carrey* does it.
- Toasting marshmallows on the Menorah.
- “Tickle Me CEO”
And the Number 1 No-No at Your Office Holiday Party…
- Hiring unknown Peruvian waiters to bring the hors-d’oeuvres.
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CREDITS
Selected from 88 submissions from 33 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 1, 8 (3rd #1)
- Jay Allen, Santa Barbara, CA — 2
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 3
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 4
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 5
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 6
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 7
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 9
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 10
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 10
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 11
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 12
- Tom Louderback, Breckenridge, CO — 13
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 14
- Greg Pettit, Houston, TX — 15
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — Topic
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — Topic
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