The list for July 22 , 1997
The Top 16 New Careers for Joe Camel
- Spokescamel for “Double Hump” brand condoms.
- Takes over for lame Matt LeBlanc as Joey on “Friends.”
- Working for the city filling potholes with tar hacked up from his own lungs.
- Not wanting to leave the lucrative cancer market, Joe signs on with Hawaiian Tropic.
- Overpaid administrative assistant for tobacco industry “friend”, Senator Jessie Helms.
- Snapped up by Cadbury, he’s now Joe Caramello.
- Back to being just another big, dumb, flea-ridden, ill-tempered pack animal.
- Now known as Joe Crack — “Please don’t tell me *this* stuff is bad for you, too!!”
- Spitting on the tourists at Disneyland France
- Stunt double for Bea Arthur
- Watch Frank very closely. Report back to Kathie Lee every couple of hours.
- New California TV ad says, “Joe Bud has just the prescription for you!”
- Convince Michael you’re a giraffe. Get cushy gig at Wonderland Ranch where you can still work with kids.
- Pitching new cereals — “NicoPuffs” and “NicoPuffs with Butts”
- Retired to the rendering plant, Joe becomes the “smoky goodness” in 1,000 bags of pet food.
And the Number 1 New Career for Joe Camel…
- “J. Camel – Private Dick”
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CREDITS
Selected from 137 submissions from 46 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 1 (6th #1)
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 1 (7th #1)
- Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 2, 14
- Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL — 3
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 4, 6
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 5
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 7
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 8
- Tim Blankenbaker, Washington, DC — 9
- Duncan Haberly, Moscow, Russia — 9
- Fred Hesby, Portland, OR — 9
- Boyd Johnson, San Diego, CA — 9
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 10
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 11
- R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 11
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 12
- Chris Gleason, Germantown, MD — 12, 15
- Joel McClure, Royal Oak, MI — 13
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 16
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — Topic
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic
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