Modern Day Cruel and Unusual Punishments

The list for March 12, 1998
The Top 16 Modern Day Cruel
and Unusual Punishments

  1. Two words: Reno’s intern

  2. Forced to go to a biker bar dressed as a mime

  3. MmmBop, NnnonStop

  4. The tofu burrito’n’beans self-inflicted gas chamber

  5. Forced to transcribe Mike Tyson’s deposition explain how Don King ripped him off

  6. The DMV “Next Window, Please” Line-a-thon

  7. Life Sentence of your Mother reading your mail, first

  8. Drink a sixer and some coffee, then try to make it through “Titanic” without a restroom break

  9. Castration by emery board

  10. Front-Row Seats at Celine Dion’s “Tribute to Michael Bolton” concert

  11. The WB/UPN Torture

  12. Lethal injection of Cher’s perfume

  13. The Chinese Buffet Torture

  14. You’re booked as a guest on “Jerry Springer”, and they give you the middle chair.

  15. Fran Drescher in the next cell watching The 3 Stooges
And the Number 1 Modern Day Cruel and Unusual Punishment…

  1. Three Words: Don Knotts Tattoo
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CREDITS
Selected from 132 submissions from 50 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • R.M. Weiner, Somerville, MA — 1 (6th #1)
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 3, 16, RU list name (Hat Trick!)
  • Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 3, 5 /
  • Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 4
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 6, 15
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 7
  • Matt Moore, Fresno, CA — 8
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 9, Topic
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 10
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 11
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 12
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH — 13
  • Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 14
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 16 /
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 16
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — Banner Tag
  • Marilyn Manson, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
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