The list for July 30, 1997
The Top 16 Mistakes Made
on the MIR Space Station

  1. Spacesuits made by Kathie Lee’s plant in Siberia.

  2. Freeze-dried lard sandwiches never as good as the real thing.

  3. Souvenir shop takes up way too much room.

  4. Forgot to set the VCR in Minsk to tape “Breshnev Hills 90210.”

  5. American’s hairdryer keeps shorting out the Russian life-support systems.

  6. Replacing hydraulic fluid with Borscht seemed cost effective at the time.

  7. Sending up Duplo blocks to make repairs on a Lego structure.

  8. The American brought “ALIEN” video along, and now Dimitri is having trouble sleeping.

  9. Shouldn’t have let Yeltsin drive the docking craft.

  10. Boy, did the kaka hit the fan when those personal waste containment system O-rings failed.

  11. Flaming Stoli shots behave a bit differently in a weightless, high-oxygen environment.

  12. “Dammit, Jimski! I’m a doctor, not a cosmonaut!!”

  13. No real need for doggie door.

  14. Should’ve accepted that ride home from Moose and Squirrel when they had the chance.

  15. “Heat-resistant outer layer” installed by Earl Scheib for $99.
And the Number 1 Mistake Made on the MIR Space Station…

  1. Every third orbit, Cosmonauts get ‘faced and try to whiz on Germany.
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CREDITS
Selected from 108 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 1 (8th #1)
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 2
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 3
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 4
  • Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA — 5
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 6, 11
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 7, 11
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 8
  • Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 9
  • Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 10
  • Chris Gleason, Germantown, MD — 11
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 12
  • Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 13, Topic
  • Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 14
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 15
  • Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 16
  • Tom Beard, somewhere out there — Banner tag
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